Tight Squeeze

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    “I would like to die in my sleep like my father did, not in screaming terror, like his passengers.”

    —Anonymous
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    “I remember a time when sex was safe and flying was dangerous.”

    —Anonymous
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    “TWA 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45 Degrees.” “Centre, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?” “Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?”

    —Anonymous Air Traffic Control Exchange
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    “Ladies and gentleman, this is your captain speaking. We have a small problem. All four engines have stopped. We are doing our damnedest to get them going again. I trust you are not in too much distress.”

    —Captain Eric Moody, British Airways Pilot, after flying through volcanic ash in a B-747
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    “There is an art, or rather a knack to flying. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.”

    —Douglas Adams, English Author
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    “The propeller is just a big fan in the front of the plane to keep the pilot cool. Want proof? Make it stop; then watch the pilot break out into a sweat.”

    —Anonymous
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    “The higher we soar, the smaller we appear to those who cannot fly.”

    —Friedrich Nietzsche, Philosopher (1844-1900)
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    “You fly an aeroplane with your head, not your hands. Never let an aeroplane take you anywhere your brain didn’t get you five minutes earlier.”

    —Tony LeVier, Lockheed Test Pilot (1913-1998)
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    “In the case of pilots, it is a little touch of madness that drive us to go beyond all known bounds. Any search into the unknown is an incomparable exploitation of oneself.”

    —Jacqueline Auriol, First woman to break the sound barrier
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    “Nobody who has not been up in the sky on a glorious morning can possibly imagine the way a pilot feels in free heaven.” 

    —William T. Piper, Founder of Piper Aircraft (1881-1970)
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    “He who would learn to fly one day must first learn to stand and walk and run and climb and dance; one cannot fly into flying.” 

    —Friedrich Nietzsche, Philosopher (1844-1900)
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    “More than anything else the sensation is one of perfect peace mingled with an excitement that strains every nerve to the utmost, if you can conceive of such a combination.”

    —Wilbur Wright
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    “The natural function of the wing is to soar upwards and carry that which is heavy up to the place where dwells the race of gods. More than any other thing that pertains to the body, it partakes of the nature of the divine.”

    —Plato, Greek Philosopher
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    “Skillful pilots gain their reputation from storms and tempest.”

    —Epicurus, Ancient Philosopher
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    “We were once told that the aeroplane had ‘abolished frontiers’. Actually, it is only since the aeroplane became a serious weapon that frontiers have become definitely impassable.”

    —George Orwell, Novelist (1903-1950)